ABUSES OF BEING IN LOVE

ABUSES OF BEING IN LOVE

1, Infatuation – This is where you so much want to be in love, that when you are with someone you mistake anything they do for you as they are being in love with you. There is a very fine line between being in love and being infatuated. Being in love is an action thing. You are assured all the time that someone loves you from what they do. Even when they do something wrong, they make it up to you and don’t continue doing it. Infatuation is in the head. Your belief of being in love outweighs anything bad that the person might do to you. And the small nice things the person does once in a while assures your mind that you are right. You assume that you are really in love even if you in actual fact aren’t. You ignore the bad signals and accept the good signals.

2, Lust – This is where your desire for sex over runs your well being and you mistake that as being in love. You don’t care about anything else as long as you are constantly having sex. You are so focused on your sexual desires that even when the person is not right for you, it doesn’t matter as long as you are having sex. Even if you know that what you doing is wrong, you don’t care (as in teacher-student relationships). Your desire to have sex with each other outweighs the consequences that might follow. In some cases your well being deteriorates such that you gain a lot of weight and you don’t care as long as you are having sex with that person. You neglect your commitment to your body and livelihood.

Most people are in lust and just want to have sex all the time. They don’t have time for anything else. But unfortunately we live in a world where you can’t spend the entire day after day having sex. You have to live, you have to survive and you have to enjoy life doing other things. And you have to associate with other people.

3, Sacrificial – This is where you know someone hurts you all the time but you hope he or she will change. You sacrifice your happiness for something that isn’t there. Most people in this situation keep saying ‘he or she will change’. Even though deep down they know the person won’t change, they hope that he or she might change. They are scared to move on and be alone. With some girls they feel that if they leave the guy, they won’t find someone else. They feel no one else will love them so they hope that the guy they are with might change his behavior. And despite the mistreatment, there are also some good things that they like about the guy. Most guys who allow this to happen feel that the girl is too good for them and they are lucky enough that she’s with them despite the fact that she hurts him.

People are naturally lazy finding the person that is right for them because it involves risk. They don’t want to risk being turned down as this will make them feel unwanted.

Everybody wants to be loved and wanted but sometimes you can never know if someone loves and wants you until you get close to them and let them know how you feel about them.

People should realize that rejection is normal and not everyone will love you but also not everyone will hate you.

You can’t be with someone you know doesn’t love you just because you are scared that no one will ever love you.

The time wasted being with someone you don’t love could have been spent finding someone you love

Good things only happen to those who look for them, and not to those who wait for good things to happen to them.

Life is unfair to those who don’t play fair. If you waste your time with someone you don’t want or who doesn’t want you, then you will definitely have problems in your relationships and life.

4, Foolish love – This is where someone hurts you and you blame yourself. It follows the phrase ‘it’s my fault’. Even though the evidence is there that he is deliberately hurting you, you keep blaming yourself; ‘Maybe I don’t love him/her enough’.

If someone can’t love you for who you are and what you give them, then they won’t love you no matter how much you try to change.

Most people in this situation are those that are insecure or have low self-esteem. They don’t believe they are good enough for their partner. They feel their partner is justified to hurt them because they don’t listen to them or fulfill their need. It follows phrases like ‘I asked for it, only if I had kept quiet this wouldn’t have happened’.

It’s called foolish love because the person involved is stubborn. He/she doesn’t want to acknowledge their partner’s wrong doing. They will even go to great lengths to protect their partner’s cruelty to them. For example: a woman being beaten by her partner will cover her bruises or injuries. When asked what happened, they will probably say ‘I fell down’. If pressured they will say ‘It’s my fault’. It’s never the partner’s fault. Also the fact that their partner is sometimes good to them, makes them want their partner more because they miss the good things which the rarely get. The little attention and nice things they get, means a lot more to them than to a girl who gets these things all the time.

Thus they protect the little attention and good things they get from their partner by blaming themselves for every wrong that their partner does. That is why it’s so important that before you live with someone you should learn to live alone, because, if you can’t learn to live on your own you fall into this trap. You end up having to put up with these abuses of being in love.

Being in love is a good thing and it should stay a good thing. If it’s not good, then it’s not love and it’s time for you to move on.

Don’t put yourself in misery just for the sake of an idea. Live the idea, don’t just imagine it and pretend it’s happening when it’s not.