Saturday, December 24, 2011
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl – Part 2
Second Stage – Zeroing in on some commonality through testing, exploration, trial and error, and keen observation. In other words, you’ll be fishing around for something in common. When she’s talking, pay close attention and listen very carefully to what she says and how she says it.
Listen, watch, and note the body language. You’re looking for a common topic that you’ll both find interesting. If her emotion picks up or she talks a great deal about something, then you’ll know that she has an interest or is passionate about the topic.
Try disclosing something about yourself and look for any indication of interest. Watch to see which of your words cause her eyes to light up. Your discussion topic may not interest her but it may touch on topics that do.
For instance, you may be talking about whale watching in Alaska and notice that she doesn’t seem to care about whales or Alaska. But you do notice that her eyes lit up at the mention of the ocean cruise ship that you took to get there. This is your cue to forget the Alaskan whales and to talk about ocean cruise ship vacations in general.
You need to be flexible and allow the conversation to go in whatever direction her words and reactions take it. Remember, you’re fishing for common interests, so don’t fixate on one topic.
Third Stage – Making a connection at a deep level. If you make it this far, you’ve just earned her real phone number or (as the case may be) a second date with her. At this point you are going deeper into the interests and passions that you both want to talk about.
You will want to home in on values and beliefs. On your sense of who you are and her sense of who she is. What things matter the most? You can even ask her “What do you feel is most important about such and such?”
Your first conversation with a stranger is something that you should take charge of. It doesn’t have to be hit or miss. You shouldn’t leave it to chance or to the other person that something will take hold and develop.
Be careful to keep the conversation a 50-50 exchange. Always be aware of the give and take process of a conversation. Give too much and you’re dominating the conversation and the other person feels they can’t get a word in at all. You become a bore.
Take too much and the conversation becomes an interrogation. You’ll also come across as being secretive, as someone who doesn’t want to talk about himself.
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl – Part 1
What do you say exactly? How do you start it in a way that seems relaxed and natural? How do you keep it going? And most important, how do you connect with this beautiful girl you’ve just met?
Knowing how to converse with anyone whether male or female is indispensable today. It’s usefulness isn’t limited to meeting women.
There’s things like job interviews, enjoying yourself at social gatherings, making friends, fitting in at work, getting new clients, etc., etc. The list is endless.
What I’m going to present here is a kind of formula that can be used to start the conversation, then learn more about the other person, and then establish a connection. Unlike some of the other posts here, this formula doesn’t require humor or playfulness or flirtation. It’s a basic bread and butter technique at making the other person comfortable and creating relaxed and flowing conversation.
Using this technique isn’t going to set you up as a clever and witty conversationalist. But it can open many doors.
When talking with a stranger, your conversation will naturally progress through three stages.
First Stage – Getting the conversation started with superficial small talk. When I was much younger, I used to wonder why so many people delighted in talking about superficial little nothing topics. Back then I didn’t realize that unless you can read minds, you haven’t the faintest idea what a total stranger is interested in.
Taking the direct approach and asking, “Hey there, what are your interests?” is intrusive. Hence the need for small talk. It’s what gets things going when you know absolutely nothing about a person.
Small talk touches on those everyday small things that everyone experiences and can relate to. It can also include popular items that most people would know about. If almost everyone experiences it or knows about it, then it’s small talk.
So when you’re thinking about your first date with a girl you hardly know and you’re asking yourself “what will I talk about?” The answer is small talk. You will want to keep it simple at first to get the other person involved.
Talking about the weather is a classic. Saying “nice day!” is too generic and boring. But if the weather is unusual or extreme in some way, then it’s perfect.
Small talk can also be related to the situation you’re in. As with talking about the weather, it helps if the situation is unusual or interesting. But even an extremely boring situation can be the subject of some great humor. It helps to be observant about things and people.
Here’s a good small talk exercise that doesn’t involve talking to anyone at all: Go for a walk in a place that’s full of people and do some people watching. Look at what a person is wearing, carrying, and also observe her immediate environment. From what you see, can you deduce anything about the person? Is there something you can make a comment about if you were initiating some small talk? Anything on her person that you’re knowledgeable about?
With enough repetition of this little exercise, making observations will become easy and automatic. A little creativityhere and there can be helpful. For instance, your small talk can combine more than one observation.
If you were in the park on a very hot day and you notice a woman with a Siberian husky panting from the heat, you can express sympathy for the dog. You can suggest that you know of a pond (that you observed earlier) that the husky can cool off in. And so on.
Continued in part 2…
Friday, December 23, 2011
Where To Meet Women – Five Places
Bars, nightclubs, and parties have a bad reputation for a lot of men and women alike. The atmosphere is loud and harsh. Alcohol is flowing and people are drunk.
Women have their defenses dialed all the way up. How are they to know that you aren’t just another low life pick up artist? Their suspicions and defenses are justified because many losers set up shop in these kinds of places.
Here are some alternatives with a relaxed setting where women have their guard down:
1.) Bookstores. A Bookstore is a great non-threatening spot to meet women. Unlike the loud, smoke filled, alcohol laden bar, a bookstore is a pleasant cozy place.
Bookstores have narrow aisles allowing you to get within close proximity of women without setting off defensive alarms. At any point you can switch from researching books to researching women and back again.
A great benefit to bookstores is that a woman’s interests are as transparent as the title of the book she’s holding or name of the aisle that she’s browsing in. Want to meet women that share your particular interests? Just hang around the book aisles or magazine racks that interest you. Women browsing in these places will have the same interest.
Want to do some field research into what topics are most popular with women? Just find the spots in the store that have the most women browsers.
Perhaps the best bookstores of all are a combination bookstore and coffee shop. After chatting it up with someone in front of a magazine rack, you can ask if she’d like a coffee and you’ve now progressed on to your first ‘date’.
2.) Dog Parks (or any park that people walk their dogs). Own a dog? If you do and you really love dogs, then you have a place to meet women (the park), an approach strategy (let your dog approach the girls dog), and something in common to talk about (take a guess).
Women are attracted to men that love animals, because to them it probably means that you’re good with kids which makes you good father material. Getting married and having kids may be the last thing on a woman’s mind, but never the less she will find you more attractive. This attraction operates on a subconscious level.
3.) Any place that involves a lot of waiting. A good example of such a place is the DMV. The waiting can last for hours and chat of any kind is a welcome relief from the boredom. Because of the long waiting times, there is ample opportunity to get to know a woman very well.
4.) At a gym. This is your chance to show off your athletic body and to allow it to do some of the ‘selling’ for you. Gyms are great because the women you meet there frequent it on a regular basis. Because she’s already seen you there several times before, she’s already familiar with you. This makes approaching her a great deal easier.
5.) At work. If your reason for being unattached is the long hours that you put into your job, then perhaps that special someone is a coworker a few cubicles down who’s also putting in long hours. Think about it, it’s late and it’s just you and her without the usual day time distractions.
Talking To A Girl – What To Do If Your Mind Goes Blank
For most guys, there will be times when in the course of a conversation with a girl, the topic being discussed comes to an end and they can’t think of what to say next.
It isn’t because there’s nothing left to say, it’s because they’re temporarily stuck. If they had a little more time they could get unstuck but the girl is standing there waiting.
The pressure is on and something has to be said now! If you allow the conversation to end awkwardly, you’ll probably kill any chances of generating attraction with her. So what do you say?
When this happens you should tell an interesting or funny personal story. We’ve all been captivated by someone who has a really good story to tell. Story telling is used a lot by the news media.
Most news pieces start with a story of how an event has affected someone personally. This is a standard technique and it’s used because it works.
The idea is to have a lot stories about yourself as the main character. You can use these to get through those moments when your mind suddenly goes blank. These stories should have been thought about and even practiced on people well in advance.
Everyone who has a life has encountered plenty of odd and humorous situations that can be elaborated on. Since these stories revolve around real things that have happened to you they are a reflection of your activities, interests, and life experiences. The stories that you tell her should revolve round things that you both have in common.
If personal story telling isn’t a normal part of your conversation, then you’ll need to start practicing on the people you normally interact with. Like humor, how it’s delivered is as important as the story itself. When engaging in small talk with strangers, try throwing in a story or two.
With enough practice storytelling should be a natural reflex. It’ll get easier to tell stories that naturally relate to whatever is being discussed.
You’ll find that some stories generate more interest and laughter than others. It’s ok to use a story more than once as long as you’re telling it to a different person. Don’t try to base your conversation completely on storytelling, because it can get tiresome if used too much. You’ll also use them up quickly and there will be nothing left for emergencies when your brain decides to blank out again.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Homemade Milk and Salt Removing Blackhead Facial Mask
"Homemade Milk and Salt Removing Blackhead Facial Mask"
2g salt, 5ml milk
Methods:
- Blend the milk and salt;
- When the salt is in a semi-dissolved state, you can use it to massage the place where there is blackhead;
- Because the salt is still not fully dissolved, so you should do the massage with very, very small force
- Wash it with water after half a minute, doing the massage can not be too long;
- To allow the skin to re-secrete clean grease protection, so after washing you should not apply anything to the washed skin.
Anti-Wrinkle (Homemade Grape Moistening Facial Mask)
"Homemade Grape Moistening Facial Mask"
seeded grapes, right amount of flour
Methods:
- Squeeze the seeded grapes into juice,
- Immerse the compress mask into the juice, and then apply the mask to the face. You can also add a little flour into the juice.
Effects:
Grapes have effects of oxidation resistance, anti-wrinkle, but also can moisturize skin, make your skin becomes more moist and bright.
Bitter Gourd Water Replenishing Facial Mask
"Bitter Gourd Water Replenishing Facial Mask"
Ingredients:
A white bitter gourd
- Wash the bitter gourd; freeze it in the refrigerator about 2 hours.
- Cut the frozen bitter gourd into thin slices.
- Apply the thin slices to the whole face; take off them after 15 minutes; wash face with cool water.
Bitter gourd can whiten skin, moisturize the skin and calm the skin, especially in summer. You should drink bitter gourd juice but also use bitter gourd facial mask, because bitter gourd is rich in vitamins, which have like a salon-like skin whitening effect.
Homemade Bitter Gourd and Green Pepper Whitening Facial Mask
"Homemade Bitter Gourd and Green Pepper Whitening Facial Mask"
Ingredients:
1 green pepper, 1 cucumber, half a bitter gourd, 4 celery, 2 green apples, a compressed facial mask.
- Wash green pepper and remove its seeds;
- Wash the cucumber, bitter gourd, celery and green apples and cut them into pieces particles;
- Put all the ingredients into the juice extractor to squeeze juice;
- Take a good amount of the juices to soak the compressed facial mask.
- Apply the soaked mask to face for about 15 minutes; clean face with cool water.
- Drink the rest of the juice.
Effect:
This homemade facial mask can whiten skin.
Note:
It is suitable for all skin types. If you are sensitive skin, you can only drink the juices.
How To Make A Girl Laugh
After that first laugh, any apprehension she may have is gone in a split second. I like to use humor as an ice breaker and try not to force or over do it.
You can try jokes and if they’re appropriate for the situation they can be very effective. I tend to favor situational humor where I’ll just say something on the spot that is playful or makes fun of a situation. Using situational humor means you won’t have worry about memorizing jokes and trying to deliver them right.
So how do you do this? For starters it helps if you’ve always been a smart aleck or wise guy in the first place. If you’ve always been trading wise cracks with your friends, then it’s just a matter of adapting the humor for women.
With women playful silliness or a confident cockiness that is silly in some way works wonders. The facial expression and body language you use all depends on what you’re saying to her.
I once strutted up to a girl, all puffed up and with the toughest look I could manage on my face I said: “I’m a BAAAAD BOY!”. She had a hard time stopping her laughter. She knew I was just being silly and was putting on the performance for her benefit.
I’ve only done that once because each situation is different and you’re always saying something specific for the situation. Sometimes I can get laughter with a straight dead pan look on my face.
You can develop a knack for this type of humor by soaking up as much stand up comedy on television as you can. You’re not trying to memorize anything, instead you want to saturate yourself with this type of humor. Your subconscious will soak it up and before you know it you’ll find yourself blurting out funny things.
It usually doesn’t happen unless you’re feeling happy and confident. You should also hold the attitude that people are fun.
A few rules:
1.) Don’t make fun of her or of anything that might be important to her.
2.) Never force it. It has to be spontaneous and natural. Your humor should flow.
3.) Don’t be discouraged if some women don’t think you’re funny. Different people react differently. There’s some trial and error to this and it’ll take some time to learn.
4.) Don’t laugh at your own humor. It will wreck the delivery.
5.) Don’t use humor as a substitute for genuinely relating to people. Too much of anything is bad.
6.) There are many ways of expressing humor. Choose a style that’s a good match for your personality.
How To Be A Flirt – It’s All In Your Attitude
The harder you try to start a conversation with a girl, the more tense and nervous you’ll get. You might get the words out ok but the girl will immediately pick up on your nervousness and if she’s a stranger, it probably won’t turn out well.
A better way is not to take it seriously at all but instead look at it as being an exciting and fun game. Rather than telling yourself that you just got to figure out how to talk with girls, tell yourself that you’re going to learn how to be a really great flirt. See the difference? The second way is more empowering. It’s ambitious. Ambition is good.
Think of this as a fun new hobby. Because it’s a new hobby, you’ll realize that you won’t get proficient in a day but willGRADUALLY get better with practice. You’ll be practicing on strangers that you meet whether at the store, mall, or at social occasions.
When you do this you won’t care about the outcome one way or the other because it’s just a game and it’s with strangers that you’ll never see again anyway. As long as your behavior isn’t outrageous or insulting, no harm is done either to you or the girl. It’s just harmless fun. Repeat that sentence to yourself as often as necessary: It’s just harmless fun.
When you get a girl to laugh and talk with you, it will be intoxicating. Believe me, it will lift your spirits like nothing else can. After that first success, you’ll want to do it again, maybe with the same girl or maybe with someone else.
Remember to inject fun and playfulness into your interactions. Flirting is playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest. Don’t worry about the sexual interest part, just focus on the playfulness.
There’s another benefit to playful, humorous flirtation: it not only makes you desirable to the girl that you’re flirting with, it also elevates your status among the other women who may be watching. This is called social validation. These women see that another woman is enjoying your company. So in their minds, you must be a fun and interesting guy.
Good flirts make other people feel special and enjoy doing it. It builds confidence, can make you a lot of friends and is a playful way to safely test the waters when it comes to romance.
It’s important that all of your focus should be on making the girl respond in a good way. Absolutely none of your focus should be self conscious. Always keep your mind directed outward to the girl. Remember that if you can make others feel good, you will feel good.
How To Tell If A Woman Likes You
In the mating game, men are expected to approach the girl. Given that a lot of women are already in relationships, how are we to know who to approach? The answer is that we should approach anyone that we have an interest in and be social.
If you’ve been practicing your social skills and have made it a habit of talking to new people, then there’s no reason why you can’t approach a girl just to be social. But how can you tell if a girl likes you? The answer is that when you’re talking to her you should be looking for signs of sexual interest in her body language.
If her body language tells you nothing, then your interaction with her remains strictly social. If her body is giving you clear signals that she’s sexually interested, you’ve got a green light to swing into action. Some women use body language deliberately, others aren’t even aware that their bodies are giving away their feelings of attraction.
Here are some signs that she’s attracted to you:
1.) She throws her hair over her shoulders and shows off her neck. This is called the head toss.
2.) She moves her fingers through her hair.
3.) She looks into your eyes with deep interest. Look for lengthy eye contact during conversation.
4.) Her eyes look down at your lips and lingers there.
5.) She blinks a lot and flutters her eyelashes while talking to you.
6.) If she’s shy she’ll get all nervous when you look at her.
7.) A big smile with a relaxed face that shows her teeth. Her eyes should be ‘smiling’ too.
8.) She bumps into you and ‘accidentally’ touches you.
9.) Her brows slightly lift and her eyes widen upon noticing your presence. You should also look for dilated pupils.
10.) Mirroring is likewise a great giveaway. When she unconsciously mimics your body language or your mood, she is mirroring. Other things she may mirror include the rhythm, loudness and tone of your speech.
Other signs of interest that aren’t strictly body language:
11.) She compliments you. Any compliment no matter how indirect is meaningful.
12.) She uses the word “you” a lot in her sentences. She is speaking in the second person which is a more intimate way to communicate.
13.) She closes her sentences with a question that asks for agreement or approval. This is an attempt engage you further into the conversation.
14.) She smiles and laughs at any attempt at humor, even jokes that are totally not funny.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
How To Get Your Ex boyfriend Back
"How To Get Your Ex boyfriend Back: 7 Secrets To Get Him Back Quickly"
Don’t only find ways on how to get your ex boyfriend back, work on it and do it…fast! Hang on the 7 secrets, more so, special tactics on how to get him back as fast as possible.
2. Keep the Fire Burning: You’ll Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back!
If you separated with your ex boyfriend without any disclosure, then you don’t have to think or even wonder about what you have done wrong to deserve all the pains and miseries of the breakup. All you have to do is to keep the same old flame lighted. Whatever it is that you did on your very first meeting or even your first few months together, gave birth to his dire love for you.
3. Give Him the Respect That He Deserve: If and Only if You Want Him Back
Men feel they are more superior than women, just like women trying to impose that they are equal to men and not subordinates. This is man’s norm. So if you love your man, show him clearly in your manner of speaking or in your actions that you respect him in the highest level. They consider themselves more manly being the boss if they see and feel their girl’s intimate respect for them. Some men, if not most of them, even pamper their women more if they feel that they are respected all the time, anywhere. The issue is not only on how to get your ex boyfriend back, but also it is a matter of how to withstand and maintain the relationship after reconciliation.
4. Public Display of Affection: The Easiest Way to Get Him Back
Most men feel loved and wanted if you show your thoughtfulness and sweetness in public. It’s like the value of a trophy awarded to them in the limelight if somebody else sees how the woman truly endears the man. Even a single intimate look in his eyes will indeed melt his heart and you will get your ex back. He will feel that your sweet gestures are some kind of confirmation that your day will not be complete without him, you will definitely win him back in a split second.
5. Appreciate and Admire: Keeping Your Ex Boyfriend Once He’s Back
Small or huge effort accomplished by your man must be praised and adored instantly. This will lift up his morale and self-esteem. You are the major judge that he waits to compliment and commend his deeds done his own way. Men are like small children who need to be praised and appreciated once they do something good.
6. Be Creative and Resourceful: Make Your Own Innovation
Men get bored easily with routines, clothes, food, name it, all men want something new and exciting. Think of something that will boost his interest once you get the chance to be together. If he got bored with your taste of fashion when you were still attached, just change it. That’s all there is to it. If you are truly decided to win him back, get that lifestyle change and keep the ball rolling.
7. Never Put Words Into His Mouth
Once you get to communicate or have quality time with your ex boyfriend after the breakup, try to stay calm, quiet and sweet. You don’t have to speak to him about your own initiative to change and awesome anxiety in winning him back. Just show it through your actions and he will get the picture. Women can unnoticingly attract men if they are meek and modest. Men don’t usually like to have their women as their spokesperson. They want to express their own thoughts in their own words and sometimes, they feel unsecured and belittled if their woman partner talks and decides for him. He wants to be treated like a king, what he says goes!
How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back part 2
How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Five Helpful Tips to Win Him Back
Top 5 Tips To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Which You Must Know
1. Find the cause: Ask yourself what made him decide to break up with you. Was it because of how you are with him or probably your attitude towards him or his friends? Was it because you were too lax with your relationship that you’ve already taken it for granted? Thinking about such things will give you tips on what to do next.
2. Do not call him: Minimize contact with him. If you’re with the same circle of friends and you can’t help but see each other during get-together, ignore him as much as possible. Don’t be the first one to talk to him, and if he does, keep the conversation short. But while you do, doing the things that made him notice you the first time is helpful. Make him crazy with the things that first attracted him to you, whether it is the way you smile or the way you walk, or probably just the way you are with friends.
3. Don’t act needy: Don’t act too desperate to win him back. Don’t call or text him. Doing this will make him miss you more. Constantly calling him will only make him feel you’re too desperate to get back to him. Also, as much as you want to, don’t be the first one to suggest that you want to get back with him.
4. Find something else to do: Get out and hang out with friends. Keep yourself busy. Going out will help you forget how devastated or frustrated you are with the break up. Your friends might even help you and provide some advice on how to get your ex boyfriend back.
5. Always be yourself: There is certainly a reason why you and your ex boyfriend were once attracted to each other. It could be something that he saw on you the first time he met you that he’s probably not seeing now. You might have changed a lot, and that change made him break up with you. Be that someone whom your boyfriend has first come to know.
What To Talk About On A First Date
"What To Talk About On A First Date"
When you’re on a first date, it’s easy to get all caught up in demonstrating, what a fine, strapping male you are. Don’t forget that you’re also evaluating her worthiness as well.
One important thing that you must know about your date is compatibility. If your interest is establishing a long term relationship, then there has to be something that the two of you are on the same page about.
A previous post discussed how to keep conversation flowing on a first date by being focused on and remembering interesting and unusual things that she happens to say.
These provide lots of starting points for further conversation where you can ask open ended questions. This provides for lots of opportunity to learn more about who she is. But this strategy is incomplete. So far, she’s been doing most of the talking. All you’ve done is help her to talk about herself. This would be great if you were a talk show host and were interviewing her.
But this is a date and you’ll have to contribute to the conversation as well. So what do you say? Well here’s a tip that will allow you to kill two birds with one stone. She gets to find out about you and you get find out if the two of you are compatible. Here it is: Where ever it feels natural, try to insert comments and stories that involve your interests and your passions. I’m not talking about steering the conversation to what you want to talk about. If she’s talking about subject ‘A’ then that’s what you’ll talk about. But the conversation will naturally move on to other things or there will be a lull. That will be your cue to talk about yourself.
If you’re really into travel, then you will relate some interesting or bizarre or funny stories about what happened to you when you were traveling abroad. When you’re doing this, pay attention to her reactions and enthusiasm. If she’s into travel herself and tells a few of her own travel stories, that’s great. If she’s never traveled before but is very intrigued and entertained by your travel talk, that’s also great. If she’s bored or starts talking about something else, then she’s revealed to you that she doesn’t share this travel passion of yours.
Throughout the date, repeat this process with your other interests. If you’re also into the great outdoors, then by all means tell her that bear story or whatever.
The best way to reveal your interests is through personal stories. People find stories far more interesting than formal statements. A point blank listing of your interests is over too quickly. It’s boring. Telling it in story format gives you the chance to be entertaining and allows you ample opportunity gauge her interest or disinterest.
If though this process, you find that the two of you are compatible, your date was a success.
If you find that she is not a compatible person, then your date was also a success. Now you won’t have to spend any more time with this person and can quickly move on.
First Date Conversations – How To Keep It Flowing
"First Date Conversations – How To Keep It Flowing"
A lot of people are shy about meeting new people. Add to this the normal discomfort that people feel on their first dates and it’s easy to see why keeping the conversation flowing on your first date can be a real challenge. Here’s a few pointers to help with this:
1.) Focus and remember. At the beginning when she’s talking about some general things about herself such as her interests, likes, dislikes, etc, you need to focus on and remember anything said that was unusual or that she had strong feelings about.
Also remember anything that you are genuinely curious about. These bits of information will give you topics that you can ask her to expound upon. You can say “How do you feel about that?” or “what’s the story behind that?”
Her replies to your questions will give you still more information that can be used to extend the conversation further. You should have quickly built up a list of topics that you can bring up at a later time should conversation stall out. If an awkward silence occurs you can quickly say “earlier you mentioned this, how did that happen?”. You don’t want to base 100% of your conversation on this technique because you will seem like an interrogator. Where ever appropriate, you should relate to what she’s said with your own experiences.
2.) Ask open ended questions. The way in which you ask questions is important in establishing effective communication. Effective questions open up the door to understanding who she really is. The art of questioning has to do with knowing which questions to ask when.
I personally like “how” and “why” questions since these get long answers full of personal detail that allow me form a good picture of what she’s about. The more I know about her, the better I can relate to her. She will feel that you’re interested in what she has to say which will encourage her to develop her answers more. Most people find it easiest to talk about themselves.
3.) Listen and listen some more. Try to avoid being the typical man by not losing interest and not steering the conversation back to your favorite topics. Let her talk about her favorite subjects whether they’re about her family, feelings, relationships, friends, or her work. Also be careful about not getting into debates. Allow her to have her own points of view even if they’re different from your own. There’s no need to try to bring her over to your way of seeing things. Allowing her to have her own points of view doesn’t mean that you’re abandoning your own.
4.) Be aware that men and women like to talk about different sorts of things. Men like to talk about things and facts such as cars, engine specs, sports teams and stats, stock figures etc. Women are different. They love talking about feelings and emotions. How a special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expeditions drain away their deepest problems, how their favorite dress takes them to seventh heaven. Try to avoid fact and thing based talk. Pick topics that are emotionally charged and ask her how she relates to them.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Advice For The Shy Introvert – Interacting With Women
"Advice For The Shy Introvert – Interacting With Women"
I hope that the last post has convinced you that you don’t need a personality transplant to attract women. Taking the simplest route is best for solving most problems.
That means being true to yourself while honing your confidence and social skills. Your life experiences have made you who you are right now. It’s far easier to work the confidence and social skills than to erase your identity and start over from scratch.
Here are more suggestions at how to beat your shyness and comfortably interact with women:
1.) Learn how to externalize your focus away from your yourself and on to the situation at hand.
Anytime you’re talking with a person whether a store keeper, bank teller, your sister, or anyone at all, practice on focusing 100% on what they’re talking about.
Don’t be planning ahead about what you’re going to say, because that’s self directed focus. Instead, just follow along with what’s being said and if you find you have nothing to add, don’t worry about it for now. The exercise is to habituate you to externalizing your focus to what’s being said when another person speaks.
When you’re feeling up to it, try going to a social event with the idea of doing nothing but listening to what others are saying. Since you’re not trying to impress anyone (just yet), there’s no pressure on you to perform. Go up to the group that seems to be having the most fun and listen in to what’s being said.
If you find yourself laughing at some point, then you’ve succeeded at externalizing your focus away from yourself. Try to lose yourself in whatever is being discussed. This is the first step to relating to people.
Notice that when you’re focused on yourself, the words of other people are nothing but words. When you have externalized your focus, other people’s words become experiences that you experience vicariously.
2.) Don’t place women on a pedestal.
They are just people with female sex organs. They have as many flaws and imperfections as the other half of the human race. If you have any sisters, then you know exactly what I mean.
By seeing them as having the qualities of the average person, talking to them will be much easier. And besides, if you see them as being too good for you, they will sense this from your behavior and that will kill any attraction.
3.) Don’t see women as sex objects.
I understand that this can be hard to do sometimes, but seeing someone as an object makes it impossible to relate to them. An object is an object, whether it’s a chair, desk, hammer, or centerfold pin-up. Sane people don’t relate to objects, they relate to people.
Perhaps you might practice your social skills on someone who won’t distract you with their stunning beauty. Then move on to more attractive women.
That means being true to yourself while honing your confidence and social skills. Your life experiences have made you who you are right now. It’s far easier to work the confidence and social skills than to erase your identity and start over from scratch.
Here are more suggestions at how to beat your shyness and comfortably interact with women:
1.) Learn how to externalize your focus away from your yourself and on to the situation at hand.
Anytime you’re talking with a person whether a store keeper, bank teller, your sister, or anyone at all, practice on focusing 100% on what they’re talking about.
Don’t be planning ahead about what you’re going to say, because that’s self directed focus. Instead, just follow along with what’s being said and if you find you have nothing to add, don’t worry about it for now. The exercise is to habituate you to externalizing your focus to what’s being said when another person speaks.
When you’re feeling up to it, try going to a social event with the idea of doing nothing but listening to what others are saying. Since you’re not trying to impress anyone (just yet), there’s no pressure on you to perform. Go up to the group that seems to be having the most fun and listen in to what’s being said.
If you find yourself laughing at some point, then you’ve succeeded at externalizing your focus away from yourself. Try to lose yourself in whatever is being discussed. This is the first step to relating to people.
Notice that when you’re focused on yourself, the words of other people are nothing but words. When you have externalized your focus, other people’s words become experiences that you experience vicariously.
2.) Don’t place women on a pedestal.
They are just people with female sex organs. They have as many flaws and imperfections as the other half of the human race. If you have any sisters, then you know exactly what I mean.
By seeing them as having the qualities of the average person, talking to them will be much easier. And besides, if you see them as being too good for you, they will sense this from your behavior and that will kill any attraction.
3.) Don’t see women as sex objects.
I understand that this can be hard to do sometimes, but seeing someone as an object makes it impossible to relate to them. An object is an object, whether it’s a chair, desk, hammer, or centerfold pin-up. Sane people don’t relate to objects, they relate to people.
Perhaps you might practice your social skills on someone who won’t distract you with their stunning beauty. Then move on to more attractive women.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Improve Your Looks By At Least Two Points
Believe it or not, you don’t have to have the good looks of a movie star to get women. Women are turned on more by masculine traits and personality rather than just looks alone. But this doesn’t mean you that you can let your appearance go. Maybe I am stating the obvious here, but there are guys out there who are clueless about looking after their personal appearance. I happen to know a few.
Here are a few suggestions that will improve you appearance:
1.) The basics. Body stench isn’t sexy. Bathe everyday because you never know when you might meet that special someone. A bath isn’t enough, use deodorants and aftershaves. Wear a good-quality cologne, but avoid using too much. Overpowering her with cologne won’t work.
Always keep your clothing clean. It’s not enough that it looks clean, it has to be frequently washed. The reason is that unwashed clothing smells bad from bacterial action on body oils trapped within the fabric. Since you’re wearing the clothing all of the time, you won’t be aware of the smell. Others are. Trust me.
2.) If you’ve got muscles, a hairless body will show a lot more definition. It’s no accident that body builders shave their hair off their bodies when they do their competitions.
3.) Keep the nose and ear hair under control.
4.) Stay physically fit. This will improve your appearance, your posture, your complexion and will increase your self esteem. Athletes have a more confident looking stride.
5.) If your skin looks gray and tired, you should eat a balanced diet, take vitamins, and drink at least two liters of water a day.
6.) If you’re going for the clean shaven look, then shave every day. Have a beard? Keep it well trimmed. A 5 o’clock shadow should be consistent. If it’s uneven and scraggly, then give it up and shave it off.
7.) Keep your hair clean and dandruff free. Go to a good hair stylist and ask what type of style looks best for you. Follow their advice on maintenance. This one change alone will have a dramatic effect on your appearance.
8.) Good clothing is important. Always wear clothing that’s appropriate for the occasion. Have a wardrobe of stylish clothing. Style is more important than quantity and a good fit is a must. Don’t forget the shoes. Women have a thing about stylish shoes.
9.) Even your glasses is a chance to show your style. If nothing looks good on you, then go with contacts.
10.) A smile makes you more attractive looking. And women are turned on by a confident smile. Having clean healthy teeth will also go a long way in improving your smile.
How To Tell If A Girl Wants To Be Kissed
How will she react? Will she pull away? Maybe she’ll think that you’re coming on too strong and you’ll scare her away. These and other similar thoughts are very common.
Some guys will opt for not dealing with the issue at all and won’t make any attempt. Others will ask for permission. Both are mistakes for two reasons:
1.) You’re hurting yourself because you’re telling her that you lack backbone. This is a big turn off for many women.
2.) You’re hurting her because you’re depriving her of her big romantic moment. This is when the strong confident man takes charge and sweeps her off her feet. The confident man doesn’t ask for permission, he takes control.
If you’ve ever peaked inside of those romantic novels that some women read, the first kiss is a really big deal. Romantic novels are popular with women for good reason.
Anticipation, tension, the back and forth progression toward the inevitable act that changes two strangers into…lovers. This is the stuff of female fantasy. If she’s into you, this is what she wants you to do. She wants you to take her and kiss her.
Note the key phrase: ‘if she’s into you’. If she detests you or if there’s just no chemistry, then kissing her is a mistake. So, how do you know if she wants to be kissed?
You should be looking for signs of attraction. These are revealed through conscious and subconscious signals. Look for these signs:
1.) Physical contact.
She initiates physical contact with you ‘accidentally’. This is a very strong indicator of interest. Some examples:
- Her hand brushes across your arm or hand.
- Her fingers slide across your hand when you hand something to her.
- Her nails rake across your palm when handing something to her.
- She finds an excuse to grasp your hand such as reading your palm.
- She stumbles and holds on to you for support.
2.) Eye contact.
-She locks eyes with you.
-You catch her stealing glances at you. She may hold eye contact or quickly look away when she knows she’s been caught.
-She explores your face with her eyes and spends time looking at your lips.
-Her pupils are dilated.
3.) Physical proximity.
She leans in close. Perhaps she does this when she asks you to check something on her menu. When you’re walking together, she walks well inside of your personal space.
4.) She plays with her hair.
5.) She may adjust your collar. This is a very strong sign. When she does this, she’s taking possession of you.
6.) When you’re making your move to kiss her, she may lick or part her lips and her breathing deepen.
If you’re getting signs from her but want to be even more certain, then you can start the kiss with some preliminaries. These would be softly touching her hair or taking her hand in yours and intently gazing into her eyes and on her lips. If she doesn’t pull away then she’s ready.
How to Attract a Girls Part2
Continued from part 1.
External changes involve your degree of physical attractiveness. The clothes you wear have a strong effect on the impression that you make on other people. This is especially true with the impression that you make with a woman.
Another part of physical attractiveness is conveying the impression of being healthy and fit. Depending on your particular situation, this may involve a diet or a workout program. But other elements including your clothes, your posture, and how you move across a room also factor into this.
Now I haven’t mentioned ‘good looks’ or being very handsome for two reasons. First, it isn’t something that you can change (short of plastic surgery). Second, being attractive to women has more to do with “maleness” or being a man. So having a pretty face can help but it’s not needed.
As you well know, men are instinctually attracted to women who are masters of the art of projecting “femaleness”. Their sexiness is more than body proportions alone. It’s their clothing, how they walk, their behavior. It’s curves and softness. All of this adds up to femaleness and the more “female” they are, the more irresistible they are to men.
So it shouldn’t come as a surprise, that the same principle applies to what women find attractive in a man. The greater your mastery of projecting “maleness”, the more attractive you will be to women. So many guys fail to grasp this one simple fact. Women want men. Not boys or guys with feminine attributes.
Guys with feminine attributes, and I mean behavioral, will only succeed at becoming a friend. Men can be nice to women but it’s all in how you do it. This sounds a bit corny, but it is all about being a man. Looking and acting the part. Or I should say it’s looking and being the part.
Men are supposed to be confident, strong, and independent. They are decisive and take action. They’re supposed to know what to do. They make things happen. They are powerful.
These are the qualities that women instinctually respond to. This is what causes the primitive animal attraction or chemistry within a woman. Evolution has wired this into them.
How To Attract a Girls Part1
If you’re having trouble meeting women, is it possible to land girlfriends without having to make any changes to what you’re doing now? The short answer is probably not. Our lives pretty much continue going the way it always has unless we make a focused effort to change it. So it all starts with personal change. Depending on the individual, some will have to make more changes than others.
These changes will be internal and external. Some of the internal ones will have to do with overcoming fear. Fear of trying out new things. Fear of going out more often to unfamiliar places. And of coarse, the big one: the fear of rejection.
Fear is your greatest enemy because it subverts your efforts at improving your life. It’s only use is in keeping you away from life threatening situations or in preventing to you from actions that cause the loss of your income or the other assets that you have. Rejection by a woman will cause none of these things. No one has ever been maimed or killed by rejection. You won’t even lose your job or home.
Any pain that you feel is caused by you. There’s no need to feel humiliation or to feel like a failure. Small kids learn how to ski more quickly than many adults do. This is because they aren’t burdened by humiliation whenever they fall down. They just pick themselves up and keep going. They’re also having a hell of a good time. There’s no reason why you can’t think of meeting new women as an exciting new adventure.
Fear isn’t your only enemy. There is also something called personal inertia. Personal inertia is the collection of habits and routines that get you through each day. It allows you to efficiently do the daily tasks that must get done. With personal inertia you can float through each day without feeling stress.
It’s very easy to just do what we’ve always been doing. There’s no fuss and no stress. But if business as usual isn’t landing you dates with new women, then your personal inertia is leading you nowhere. You must change. Change is stressful but this kind of stress will make you stronger.
Other internal changes have to do with understanding. It’s important to understand sexual attraction from the female point of view. The truth about this may surprise you. Women often know within minutes, whether or not they will want to date someone they’ve just met.
The external changes that you’ll make are covered in part 2.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)