What To Talk About On A First Date

"What To Talk About On A First Date"


When you’re on a first date, it’s easy to get all caught up in demonstrating, what a fine, strapping male you are. Don’t forget that you’re also evaluating her worthiness as well.
One important thing that you must know about your date is compatibility. If your interest is establishing a long term relationship, then there has to be something that the two of you are on the same page about.
A previous post discussed how to keep conversation flowing on a first date by being focused on and remembering interesting and unusual things that she happens to say.
These provide lots of starting points for further conversation where you can ask open ended questions. This provides for lots of opportunity to learn more about who she is. But this strategy is incomplete. So far, she’s been doing most of the talking. All you’ve done is help her to talk about herself. This would be great if you were a talk show host and were interviewing her.
But this is a date and you’ll have to contribute to the conversation as well. So what do you say? Well here’s a tip that will allow you to kill two birds with one stone. She gets to find out about you and you get find out if the two of you are compatible. Here it is: Where ever it feels natural, try to insert comments and stories that involve your interests and your passions. I’m not talking about steering the conversation to what you want to talk about. If she’s talking about subject ‘A’ then that’s what you’ll talk about. But the conversation will naturally move on to other things or there will be a lull. That will be your cue to talk about yourself.

If you’re really into travel, then you will relate some interesting or bizarre or funny stories about what happened to you when you were traveling abroad. When you’re doing this, pay attention to her reactions and enthusiasm. If she’s into travel herself and tells a few of her own travel stories, that’s great. If she’s never traveled before but is very intrigued and entertained by your travel talk, that’s also great. If she’s bored or starts talking about something else, then she’s revealed to you that she doesn’t share this travel passion of yours.
Throughout the date, repeat this process with your other interests. If you’re also into the great outdoors, then by all means tell her that bear story or whatever.
The best way to reveal your interests is through personal stories. People find stories far more interesting than formal statements. A point blank listing of your interests is over too quickly. It’s boring. Telling it in story format gives you the chance to be entertaining and allows you ample opportunity gauge her interest or disinterest.
If though this process, you find that the two of you are compatible, your date was a success.
If you find that she is not a compatible person, then your date was also a success. Now you won’t have to spend any more time with this person and can quickly move on.

First Date Conversations – How To Keep It Flowing

"First Date Conversations – How To Keep It Flowing"



A lot of people are shy about meeting new people. Add to this the normal discomfort that people feel on their first dates and it’s easy to see why keeping the conversation flowing on your first date can be a real challenge. Here’s a few pointers to help with this:

1.) Focus and remember. At the beginning when she’s talking about some general things about herself such as her interests, likes, dislikes, etc, you need to focus on and remember anything said that was unusual or that she had strong feelings about.

Also remember anything that you are genuinely curious about. These bits of information will give you topics that you can ask her to expound upon. You can say “How do you feel about that?” or “what’s the story behind that?”

Her replies to your questions will give you still more information that can be used to extend the conversation further. You should have quickly built up a list of topics that you can bring up at a later time should conversation stall out. If an awkward silence occurs you can quickly say “earlier you mentioned this, how did that happen?”. You don’t want to base 100% of your conversation on this technique because you will seem like an interrogator. Where ever appropriate, you should relate to what she’s said with your own experiences.

2.) Ask open ended questions. The way in which you ask questions is important in establishing effective communication. Effective questions open up the door to understanding who she really is. The art of questioning has to do with knowing which questions to ask when.

I personally like “how” and “why” questions since these get long answers full of personal detail that allow me form a good picture of what she’s about. The more I know about her, the better I can relate to her. She will feel that you’re interested in what she has to say which will encourage her to develop her answers more. Most people find it easiest to talk about themselves.

3.) Listen and listen some more. Try to avoid being the typical man by not losing interest and not steering the conversation back to your favorite topics. Let her talk about her favorite subjects whether they’re about her family, feelings, relationships, friends, or her work. Also be careful about not getting into debates. Allow her to have her own points of view even if they’re different from your own. There’s no need to try to bring her over to your way of seeing things. Allowing her to have her own points of view doesn’t mean that you’re abandoning your own.

4.) Be aware that men and women like to talk about different sorts of things. Men like to talk about things and facts such as cars, engine specs, sports teams and stats, stock figures etc. Women are different. They love talking about feelings and emotions. How a special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expeditions drain away their deepest problems, how their favorite dress takes them to seventh heaven. Try to avoid fact and thing based talk. Pick topics that are emotionally charged and ask her how she relates to them.

Improve Your Looks By At Least Two Points

"Improve Your Looks By At Least Two Points"

Believe it or not, you don’t have to have the good looks of a movie star to get women. Women are turned on more by masculine traits and personality rather than just looks alone. But this doesn’t mean you that you can let your appearance go. Maybe I am stating the obvious here, but there are guys out there who are clueless about looking after their personal appearance. I happen to know a few.

Here are a few suggestions that will improve you appearance:

1.) The basics. Body stench isn’t sexy. Bathe everyday because you never know when you might meet that special someone. A bath isn’t enough, use deodorants and aftershaves. Wear a good-quality cologne, but avoid using too much. Overpowering her with cologne won’t work.

Always keep your clothing clean. It’s not enough that it looks clean, it has to be frequently washed. The reason is that unwashed clothing smells bad from bacterial action on body oils trapped within the fabric. Since you’re wearing the clothing all of the time, you won’t be aware of the smell. Others are. Trust me.

2.) If you’ve got muscles, a hairless body will show a lot more definition. It’s no accident that body builders shave their hair off their bodies when they do their competitions.

3.) Keep the nose and ear hair under control.

4.) Stay physically fit. This will improve your appearance, your posture, your complexion and will increase your self esteem. Athletes have a more confident looking stride.

5.) If your skin looks gray and tired, you should eat a balanced diet, take vitamins, and drink at least two liters of water a day.

6.) If you’re going for the clean shaven look, then shave every day. Have a beard? Keep it well trimmed. A 5 o’clock shadow should be consistent. If it’s uneven and scraggly, then give it up and shave it off.

7.) Keep your hair clean and dandruff free. Go to a good hair stylist and ask what type of style looks best for you. Follow their advice on maintenance. This one change alone will have a dramatic effect on your appearance.

8.) Good clothing is important. Always wear clothing that’s appropriate for the occasion. Have a wardrobe of stylish clothing. Style is more important than quantity and a good fit is a must. Don’t forget the shoes. Women have a thing about stylish shoes.

9.) Even your glasses is a chance to show your style. If nothing looks good on you, then go with contacts.

10.) A smile makes you more attractive looking. And women are turned on by a confident smile. Having clean healthy teeth will also go a long way in improving your smile.

Datings Tips 2

 "Dating Tips 2"

Searching for a Partner in Your Social Circle.

Not every workplace is a very social environment, and many people long for a person with whom they share more of their private life. Besides, you also avoid the pitfalls of an on-the-job romance when you look to your social surroundings. After a breakup, many friendships fall apart, and your need for outside contacts drops off at first. In that case, the following principle for simplification goes especially for you: don't sit around and suffer -- do something; be active, not passive.

"Bar acquaintances - no, thank you. Dance clubs and trendy bars, the classic meeting places for people looking for a new partner, are the least suited to finding serious potential partners (and in the long term, it can get downright expensive). With the loud music, you can hardly have a conversation, and your possibilities have been preselected: you'll find few nonsmokers in a bar, as well as few early risers or health nuts." 

"Vacation romance - better not. It may sound cruel for us to discourage this. But the chances of meeting your life's partner on the beach or at the breakfast buffet at the hotel are slim. In these places, you meet people in that special vacation mood. Far away from home, the temptation to not be yourself is great. At a spa or under the tropical sun, good husbands suddenly become love-hungry singles and respectable wives discover their lust for adventure. On the other hand, there are no laws in love, only probabilities." 

"Everyday encounters - yes, please. It will serve you better to attend events you are interested in. Look around in community colleges, sports clubs, or church groups, where the desperate search for a partner isn't your main focus and the chances for making real contacts isn't so bad. Choose courses or programmes that don't take years to complete, so you can get to know a variety of people. Larger events where the participants belong to similar occupational or private areas are also very good, such as trade shows, openings and conferences." 

"Think against the grain. Attend gatherings where your gender is underrepresented: men in self-discovery groups, women in sports clubs and so on. Rediscover the other gender in yourself; put yourself on the 'other side'. If you are a man who can read a women's magazine, or a woman who can read a car magazine, without thinking everything in it is dumb, you have a giant advantage over your fellow partner-seekers!" 

"Use the official trick. An official function or position helps overcome shyness. Help out for a while serving refreshments at a large festival or greeting new arrivals with a name tag on your shirt. This makes it easier to meet people. Make sure that you're not trapped in your job the entire time, though. Once your shift is over, you have the ideal starting point for a conversation (eg, "you had such a nice laugh when I was pouring you that beer just now…"). Especially effective here is a uniform (that was always Grandpa's trick!)." 

"Find a wardrobe adviser. What should you wear? What looks the best on you? Women often misjudge what men find attractive about them and vice versa. Find people to advice you, but not only from your own gender. You will be amazed what the other side recommends! Use this seemingly paradoxical idea from behavioral therapy: nothing helps combat shyness so much as an eye-catching outfit." 

"Pay attention to your appearance. Another useful insight from behavioral psychology: stand up straight, make yourself tall (for women, high heels can help), hold your head turned slightly up and always breathe consciously and deeply. This way, your body sends a positive signal to your brain: "I am somebody." That has an immediate effect on your surroundings."

Simplifying Tip: If you are shy or nervous, you come off as much more serious than you think. But if you have to force yourself to seem cheerful, things can also go awry. So give others a friendly smile, as if you've already known and liked them a long time. Imagine that you've already had a pleasant and intimate conversation with the person you want to talk to. This way, you achieve exactly the right friendly, relaxed facial expression that makes conversation easier for both of you.

Dating Tips

 "Dating Tips"

Searching for a Partner at the Workplace.

"Widen your radius. Enlarge the circle of people with whom you interact. If youwork in a small company, use every opportunity to work outside the office. Visit in person business partners whom you usually only talk to on the phone. Your company could profit from this and the most important person of your life just might cross your path.If you work in a large firm, don't stay holed up in your division. Use the existinginfrastructure: go to continuing education classes, take on small office responsibilities (eg, distributing supplies, helping organise the company picnic, etc)." 

"Don't fall into the hierarchy trap. Flirt with a colleague rather than with your boss. Sticking to your own level ensures equality in the relationship, and in general that is good for love: you can be sure that the other person isn't just returning your signals because he or she hopes to get some career boost out of it. Also, in the case of a breakup, your job isn't in danger."
"Accept rejection. Really. If you ignore a clear refusal, you could be accused of sexual harassment in the workplace - legal action could follow." 

"Don't make a show of your relationship. Don't annoy your colleagues. Constantly dropping by, calling on the phone, or holding hands gets on other people's nerves as much as does that person who's always five minutes late to the meeting or the other who always yawns loudly all morning. Every task that goes unfinished because of your romance costs you empathy points." 

"Break up with dignity. The greatest dangers for your job aren't lurking during your office liaison, but after it! If the relationship falls apart, it's important that you both find your way back into your original colleague roles. Maintain mutual respect, and remain discreet. Don't vent your anger about your ex in front of your other colleagues, as tempting as it may be. Reduce your daily contact with your ex as much as you can. If you have to, have yourself transferred. The best distraction is to throw yourself into your work so your performance doesn't suffer."

Simplifying Tip: If you are shy or nervous, you come off as much more serious than you think. But if you have to force yourself to seem cheerful, things can also go awry. So give others a friendly smile, as if you've already known and liked them a long time. Imagine that you've already had a pleasant and intimate conversation with the person you want to talk to. This way, you achieve exactly the right friendly, relaxed facial expression that makes conversation easier for both of you.