What To Talk About On A First Date

"What To Talk About On A First Date"


When you’re on a first date, it’s easy to get all caught up in demonstrating, what a fine, strapping male you are. Don’t forget that you’re also evaluating her worthiness as well.
One important thing that you must know about your date is compatibility. If your interest is establishing a long term relationship, then there has to be something that the two of you are on the same page about.
A previous post discussed how to keep conversation flowing on a first date by being focused on and remembering interesting and unusual things that she happens to say.
These provide lots of starting points for further conversation where you can ask open ended questions. This provides for lots of opportunity to learn more about who she is. But this strategy is incomplete. So far, she’s been doing most of the talking. All you’ve done is help her to talk about herself. This would be great if you were a talk show host and were interviewing her.
But this is a date and you’ll have to contribute to the conversation as well. So what do you say? Well here’s a tip that will allow you to kill two birds with one stone. She gets to find out about you and you get find out if the two of you are compatible. Here it is: Where ever it feels natural, try to insert comments and stories that involve your interests and your passions. I’m not talking about steering the conversation to what you want to talk about. If she’s talking about subject ‘A’ then that’s what you’ll talk about. But the conversation will naturally move on to other things or there will be a lull. That will be your cue to talk about yourself.

If you’re really into travel, then you will relate some interesting or bizarre or funny stories about what happened to you when you were traveling abroad. When you’re doing this, pay attention to her reactions and enthusiasm. If she’s into travel herself and tells a few of her own travel stories, that’s great. If she’s never traveled before but is very intrigued and entertained by your travel talk, that’s also great. If she’s bored or starts talking about something else, then she’s revealed to you that she doesn’t share this travel passion of yours.
Throughout the date, repeat this process with your other interests. If you’re also into the great outdoors, then by all means tell her that bear story or whatever.
The best way to reveal your interests is through personal stories. People find stories far more interesting than formal statements. A point blank listing of your interests is over too quickly. It’s boring. Telling it in story format gives you the chance to be entertaining and allows you ample opportunity gauge her interest or disinterest.
If though this process, you find that the two of you are compatible, your date was a success.
If you find that she is not a compatible person, then your date was also a success. Now you won’t have to spend any more time with this person and can quickly move on.

First Date Conversations – How To Keep It Flowing

"First Date Conversations – How To Keep It Flowing"



A lot of people are shy about meeting new people. Add to this the normal discomfort that people feel on their first dates and it’s easy to see why keeping the conversation flowing on your first date can be a real challenge. Here’s a few pointers to help with this:

1.) Focus and remember. At the beginning when she’s talking about some general things about herself such as her interests, likes, dislikes, etc, you need to focus on and remember anything said that was unusual or that she had strong feelings about.

Also remember anything that you are genuinely curious about. These bits of information will give you topics that you can ask her to expound upon. You can say “How do you feel about that?” or “what’s the story behind that?”

Her replies to your questions will give you still more information that can be used to extend the conversation further. You should have quickly built up a list of topics that you can bring up at a later time should conversation stall out. If an awkward silence occurs you can quickly say “earlier you mentioned this, how did that happen?”. You don’t want to base 100% of your conversation on this technique because you will seem like an interrogator. Where ever appropriate, you should relate to what she’s said with your own experiences.

2.) Ask open ended questions. The way in which you ask questions is important in establishing effective communication. Effective questions open up the door to understanding who she really is. The art of questioning has to do with knowing which questions to ask when.

I personally like “how” and “why” questions since these get long answers full of personal detail that allow me form a good picture of what she’s about. The more I know about her, the better I can relate to her. She will feel that you’re interested in what she has to say which will encourage her to develop her answers more. Most people find it easiest to talk about themselves.

3.) Listen and listen some more. Try to avoid being the typical man by not losing interest and not steering the conversation back to your favorite topics. Let her talk about her favorite subjects whether they’re about her family, feelings, relationships, friends, or her work. Also be careful about not getting into debates. Allow her to have her own points of view even if they’re different from your own. There’s no need to try to bring her over to your way of seeing things. Allowing her to have her own points of view doesn’t mean that you’re abandoning your own.

4.) Be aware that men and women like to talk about different sorts of things. Men like to talk about things and facts such as cars, engine specs, sports teams and stats, stock figures etc. Women are different. They love talking about feelings and emotions. How a special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expeditions drain away their deepest problems, how their favorite dress takes them to seventh heaven. Try to avoid fact and thing based talk. Pick topics that are emotionally charged and ask her how she relates to them.