"Advice For The Shy Introvert – Interacting With Women"
I hope that the last post has convinced you that you don’t need a personality transplant to attract women. Taking the simplest route is best for solving most problems.
That means being true to yourself while honing your confidence and social skills. Your life experiences have made you who you are right now. It’s far easier to work the confidence and social skills than to erase your identity and start over from scratch.
Here are more suggestions at how to beat your shyness and comfortably interact with women:
1.) Learn how to externalize your focus away from your yourself and on to the situation at hand.
Anytime you’re talking with a person whether a store keeper, bank teller, your sister, or anyone at all, practice on focusing 100% on what they’re talking about.
Don’t be planning ahead about what you’re going to say, because that’s self directed focus. Instead, just follow along with what’s being said and if you find you have nothing to add, don’t worry about it for now. The exercise is to habituate you to externalizing your focus to what’s being said when another person speaks.
When you’re feeling up to it, try going to a social event with the idea of doing nothing but listening to what others are saying. Since you’re not trying to impress anyone (just yet), there’s no pressure on you to perform. Go up to the group that seems to be having the most fun and listen in to what’s being said.
If you find yourself laughing at some point, then you’ve succeeded at externalizing your focus away from yourself. Try to lose yourself in whatever is being discussed. This is the first step to relating to people.
Notice that when you’re focused on yourself, the words of other people are nothing but words. When you have externalized your focus, other people’s words become experiences that you experience vicariously.
2.) Don’t place women on a pedestal.
They are just people with female sex organs. They have as many flaws and imperfections as the other half of the human race. If you have any sisters, then you know exactly what I mean.
By seeing them as having the qualities of the average person, talking to them will be much easier. And besides, if you see them as being too good for you, they will sense this from your behavior and that will kill any attraction.
3.) Don’t see women as sex objects.
I understand that this can be hard to do sometimes, but seeing someone as an object makes it impossible to relate to them. An object is an object, whether it’s a chair, desk, hammer, or centerfold pin-up. Sane people don’t relate to objects, they relate to people.
Perhaps you might practice your social skills on someone who won’t distract you with their stunning beauty. Then move on to more attractive women.
That means being true to yourself while honing your confidence and social skills. Your life experiences have made you who you are right now. It’s far easier to work the confidence and social skills than to erase your identity and start over from scratch.
Here are more suggestions at how to beat your shyness and comfortably interact with women:
1.) Learn how to externalize your focus away from your yourself and on to the situation at hand.
Anytime you’re talking with a person whether a store keeper, bank teller, your sister, or anyone at all, practice on focusing 100% on what they’re talking about.
Don’t be planning ahead about what you’re going to say, because that’s self directed focus. Instead, just follow along with what’s being said and if you find you have nothing to add, don’t worry about it for now. The exercise is to habituate you to externalizing your focus to what’s being said when another person speaks.
When you’re feeling up to it, try going to a social event with the idea of doing nothing but listening to what others are saying. Since you’re not trying to impress anyone (just yet), there’s no pressure on you to perform. Go up to the group that seems to be having the most fun and listen in to what’s being said.
If you find yourself laughing at some point, then you’ve succeeded at externalizing your focus away from yourself. Try to lose yourself in whatever is being discussed. This is the first step to relating to people.
Notice that when you’re focused on yourself, the words of other people are nothing but words. When you have externalized your focus, other people’s words become experiences that you experience vicariously.
2.) Don’t place women on a pedestal.
They are just people with female sex organs. They have as many flaws and imperfections as the other half of the human race. If you have any sisters, then you know exactly what I mean.
By seeing them as having the qualities of the average person, talking to them will be much easier. And besides, if you see them as being too good for you, they will sense this from your behavior and that will kill any attraction.
3.) Don’t see women as sex objects.
I understand that this can be hard to do sometimes, but seeing someone as an object makes it impossible to relate to them. An object is an object, whether it’s a chair, desk, hammer, or centerfold pin-up. Sane people don’t relate to objects, they relate to people.
Perhaps you might practice your social skills on someone who won’t distract you with their stunning beauty. Then move on to more attractive women.
No comments:
Post a Comment